Here I am. The same feeling in my stomach as when a fifteen year old me created a livejournal so that he would have an easy way out of showing his true feelings. I took a look at that account not so long ago and wish their was a way to go back and kick my own ass. He was such a baby. Im not here for the same reason. I am just here to write about what Ive been doing. I feel like only a couple people in the world ever really know what I am up to, so maybe this will help me add a few names to that list.
Currently. I have not been outside since monday morning. I just ate a breakfast of cheerios and plain toast. Both arms look like that of a heroin addict. Im getting paid. If you dont know, I moved to Seattle almost 3 months ago. Coming here to try and start my brain over. Back home, everything started to feel like it blended together. My life, my ambitions, my dreams, my friends, my family, even my thoughts. Nothing seemed clear anymore, so I left. This wasnt the first time I have done something like this. Actually the 4th. The difference with this journey, is that by moving up here, I wasnt running from anything, I was running towards something. For the first time since I was a kid, I am completely content with where I am, and what I am spending my time doing.
The job market is terrible up here and my money is gone. I decided to sign up for a clinical study to get some extra cash while I continue looking for work. 8 night stay, 40 blood drawings, terrible food, but it will get me by for a while. I am on day 3 of the study, and have pretty much an empty day ahead of me, besides the 9pm blood drawing and EKG. Yesterday was rediculous. 13 times they stuck a needle in my arms, in the same holes, hence the heroin addict arms. Its been raining since Ive been inside, and Ive spent all of my free time here reading Dantes Divine Comedy and several works by Oscar Wilde, maybe causing this need to write.
I have an hour time limit on this computer, and dont want all of this to get deleted so Im going to leave. I have a lot to catch people up on, so stay tuned. good bye
